איך חברים אופי יכול לעזור לך לגדול במידות טובות
This is the first week of practicing your habituation plan. For the next 13 weeks, you will find the little response box below at the top of each page to help you monitor your plan. Take a few moments to complete it now.
And now, let’s build another tool into your plan.
As you put your habituation plan into practice, this week you will add the cultivation of an intentional character friendship as another tool of character education.
This section will help you understand what a character friendship is, how it is an important element in the practice of developing virtue and what you and your character friend might do in this intensive practice phase.
נתחיל עם ציטוט נהדר על ידידות:
‘Friendship is a virtue, or involves virtue. Friendship is one of the most indispensable requirements of life… Friends are of help… in doing good things‘ [A].
Notice the last sentence: friendship is a help in doing good things. Clearly, our friends are valuable in themselves and we love them for their own sake, but there is also an instrumental value in friendship. They can be ‘a help…’ That is what we will explore here.
Aristotle has helpfully distinguished three types of friendships: utility friendships, pleasure friendships and virtue friendships. All are good, and all are helpful. But of the three, virtue friendship is the highest, because it serves the highest end in helping us do good things and become the kind of virtuous person we are meant to be. These are what we are calling ‘character friendships’.
אז מהי בדיוק ידידות כזו?
Character friendship is a friendship between humans that is based on the reciprocal love of each other’s character which is expressed in the service of mutual character development.
So, for example, a character friend loves the virtue of diligence in my character, and wishes to serve and reinforce that aspect of my character so that I may be a better person. She is not trying to change me because my character is bothering her. She wants to see more of the virtue of diligence in my life for my sake, tin order to see me flourish as a human being.
So a character friend is someone who wishes your good for your own sake. This is different from friendships that are based mostly on mutual usefulness, such as those that you might have with a colleague at work. It is also different from friendships that are mostly based on the pleasure of being together, such as those that you might have with teammates in a sport. There is nothing wrong with these other kind of friendship, but in character friendship you are looking for is someone who really cares about you becoming a better person [KK].
זה מוביל לשתי אזהרות.
Having seen what character friendship is, how then can you expect to grow in your character through intentionally cultivating such a friendship?
Here are three things that can happen as you intentionally develop character friendships [KK]:
זה אולי נראה הרבה, ואנחנו צריכים להיות זהירים כדי להפריז בכוחה של חברות אופי בעיצוב אופי. בשבועות הקרובים אתם תובלו לגלות באיזו מידה זה יכול להיות נכון בחווייתכם האישית.
תוכנית תרגול אינטנסיבית זו חוזה ארבע פגישות במשך 15 שבועות עם החבר שלך אופי. הנחיות מדויקות יינתנו בשבועות הקרובים, אך בדרך כלל כן:
בחלק הבא תובילו אתכם לזהות חבר לדמות וליצור קשר עם פעילויות אלה בכוונה במהלך השבועות הקרובים.